


Co-op Mission

by MSiLeT



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: 007 meets Harry Hart, Blow Jobs, Bond and Merlin are friends, Bond and Q are pining but they are idiots, Comedy, Fluff, Harry is jealous of James, James is jealous of Harry being spoiled rotten, M/M, Main ship is Merlahad, some action but nothing too graphic, spies doing spy things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-04-30 18:08:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14502606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MSiLeT/pseuds/MSiLeT
Summary: James Bond is sent over to Kingsman to assist Harry Hart on a mission. James is impressed (and jealous) of all the tech Harry has. Harry is not happy about how much attention James is paying Merlin.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I have 2 other fics to write (and I am not abandoning them) but I have some really baaaad influences who told me to write this *wipe sweat*. This was supposed to be a one-shot but I split it into 2 so that I can feel productive by posting something. Part 2 is being written right now.
> 
> Inspiration came from KM: TSS and KM: TGC where Merlin armed Harry (even amnesiac Harry) to the teeth and even gave him his jacket in the deleted scene and Harry basically got whatever he wanted while James Bond in was sassed by Q and got (almost) no toys in Skyfall and Spectre.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 is mostly Merlahad with just a tiny teeny bit of 00Q, chapter 2 will have more 00Q but mostly Merlahad.

It's almost noon when Harry arrives at HQ, late as usual, and sees the message. It isn't really his fault, this time, just like most of the other times, he thinks, but Merlin always nags him about being punctual. Joke's on him; Harry is Arthur now, what is he going to do, fire Harry? Arthur outranks Merlin, fortunately.

"Come see me, I have a mission for you," the message says. Short and concise, which is just how Merlin communicates. It's not often that Harry has a mission anymore, being the head of Kingsman. Also, him lacking an eye and thus having a skewed depth perception isn't very convenient for field works. They have figured out a way to work around that, which is to pair him with another agent and have them covering him when needed. He hates it, of course, but Merlin threatened to take him completely off the field and that shut him up quickly.

Harry runs through the currently active missions by Kingsman quickly in his head and realises that every single available agent is out somewhere. Lancelot and Percival are off to the Middle East doing reconnaissance, Galahad and Tequila are in South America trying to stop a weapon smuggling ring. The fact that Merlin wants to give him a mission puzzles him. Who's the partner? Definitely not Merlin. After the shit that happened at Poppyland, Harry would personally chain Merlin to his desk and weld it down to the floor if Merlin even thinks of going out there again. 

He arrives at Merlin's office and knocks on the door. He used to just barge in, but once he almost got hit in the face by Merlin's prototype prosthetic leg flying off the work table straight toward him. From then on, he always knocks to confirm that it's safe to enter. 

"Come in," Merlin calls out from the other side of the door. Having the permission, Harry slowly pushes the door open, just in case. 

"Good morning, what do you have for me?" he greets. Merlin doesn't look up from his screen, fingers still dance across the keyboards as he tells Harry to come over. 

"Remember our talk with MI6 last week?" Merlin finally stops typing and turn his chair to look at Harry, who's leaning on his table. "We have ourselves an agreement and a mission." 

"Really? Why was I not informed?" Harry frowns. 

"They called this morning. You would have been part of the meeting, if only you were here," Merlin reprimands. 

While Harry has the good sense to say he's sorry and hopes that he didn't miss something important, he has full faith in Merlin. Between the two of them, Merlin has always been the brain of the operation. Besides, to be entirely honest, he feels secretly relieved that he didn't have to sit through another gruelling meeting with M, the head of MI6. Harry can't explain why but he always feels uneasy when dealing with the man. 

"What did they say?" he asks. 

"They have a free agent they can send to us, he needs to get some field work in after recovering from an injury. We are to receive him today, brief you both and then off you go tomorrow." 

Harry shrugs. "A bit of a rush but no matter. Who are they sending over?" 

"007." 

" _The_ 007?" Harry is surprised. Not only did MI6 agree to their request for cooperation, but they are also sending over their best agent. This mission must be more crucial than he thought. 

" _The_ 007," Merlin confirms. "What do you know about him? They didn't give me much other than his codename." 

"Of course. Many mistakes me for him. As if." Harry says, slightly annoyed; Merlin looks amused. 

As 007 would be arriving at the tailor shop in an hour, they decided that it's time for them to get on the underground bullet train so that they can be there as the other agent arrives.

 

* * *

 

They have been drinking their tea at the front of the shop when they spot a very well-dressed brunet carrying a suitcase. He enters, "I'm here to pick up order 6144 for the Riverside residence." 

Harry stands up first and goes to the man, "Your order of seven suits are ready and waiting for you in the back room." 

Merlin, who has been sitting with his back against the front door and has his view blocked by Harry, stands up and turns around to see the famed Double-Oh-Seven. He squints, thinking that the man looks familiar, then suddenly, he gasps, "James, is that you?" 

007 comes closer to look at Merlin better while Harry turns around just in time to witness the scene unfolding in front of him. As the MI6 agent apparently also recognises Merlin, he walks quickly to Merlin and pulls him into a hug. "Eachann!" 

"James, you have changed so much!" Merlin squeezes 007 before he releases him and holds his face in both his hands, turning it slightly left and then right. "Fucking Double-Oh-Seven, eh?" 

"And you're Merlin! I can't believe this. Three days ago I didn't even know this organisation existed, now I see you heading it. And you no longer have hair!" James smiles widely, his eyes twinkle. 

Before Merlin can reply, Harry clears his throat loudly. "Excuse me, can anyone tell me what's going on here?" 

Merlin turns to Harry and smiles apologetically. "I'm sorry, this is James. James and I were friends since we were children. We met again when we both went to college in Edinburgh, shared a flat and learned judo together. When he joined the Royal Naval College, we lost contact. James, this is Harry Hart, also known as Arthur. He's actually the head of Kingsman, not me." 

007 extends his hands out to Harry. "Pleasure to meet you. The name's Bond. James Bond." Harry walks over to shake his hand and notices just how blue his eyes are. _Nice assets_ , he thinks. "Harry Hart." 

"Nice to meet you, Mr Hart." 

"Harry, please. Mr Hart was my father." 

"Harry, then. Call me James." 

Satisfied with how the two men behave, Merlin waves both of them toward the changing room. "We shouldn't stand around all day, let's get going." 

 

* * *

 

For an agent of MI6, Britain's fabled organisation, James Bond is easily impressed. As far as Harry can see, Bond has been as amazed to see Kingsman's tech as Eggsy on his first day. He keeps asking Merlin about this and that and Merlin is so pleased to explain things to Bond. Even though Harry walks beside them at all time, he feels like the odd one out, forgotten. Rationally, he can't blame Merlin for being happy to have someone caring about his tech. Kingsman staffs and agents are all used to Merlin turning tech into miracles with his "magic", they no longer ask questions or feel amazed. At this point, if Merlin claims he is able to turn lead into gold, they would all believe him without a second thought. Secretly, however, Harry is a little miffed. He has heard about 007's charm before but it sure is annoying to witness up close. 

They lead Bond to Merlin's office where the computers are, instead of the standard meeting room. When there, Bond opens his suitcase, takes out a folder of everything MI6 has on the terrorist organisation and hands it to Merlin. Apparently, they are planning an attack on a scale never seen before right in the heart of London, aiming for a high number of casualties. A few locations are marked as a possibility, and the intel needs to be cross-referenced with what Kingsman has and what Eggsy has been able to gather lately. Merlin sets the computer to scan all the documents and then compose a full file automatically. 

He turns to the two agents behind him. "Right, my computers will need an hour or two to process all the data as well as cross-checking with our internal database and what they can find online. In the meantime, James, can you show me your equipment? I need to know the status of people I'm sending out on the field." 

Bond nods, pulling out his Walther PPK and lays it on the table. Then he takes off the watch and put it next to the gun." 

"This is to shoot people, this," he points at the watch, "can be set to explode. I have a tracker implanted." 

"That's it?" Merlin asks, incredulously. 

"That's all I need." Bond shrugged, trying to act nonchalant but Harry, being a field agent for decades, knows that he just appears like he doesn't care. 

"Did you manage to piss off someone higher up at Six?" Harry jokes. 

Bond sighs, "They said the world of espionage has changed. Battles are fought and won with computers and codes now. I'm just the muscle who does the dirty work." 

"Who says that?" Harry, a field agent himself, feels hot under the collar just hearing those words. 

"Many people, friends, foes. Q." Bond says. 

"Q?" 

"His quartermaster," Merlin interjects. "While I agree that technology is making big steps forward in espionage,  we still dearly need the human touch. Come with me," he turns around and gestures for Bond to follow. Bond picks up his gears and put them back on before walking bristly up to Merlin's side. Harry tags along anyway, because who's going to stop him? 

When they are there, Merlin unlocks the door by scanning his fingerprint and retina. The moment the lights inside the room are turned on, Bond looks like a child on Christmas being told that he can eat all the sweets. Merlin appears so damn proud of himself, spreading his arms out in the middle of the room and grins, "Welcome to the Kingsman arsenal." 

Bond almost runs Merlin over to get into the room. He looks around, "This is amazing!" he exclaims. 

"Let me show you some of the toys we have here," Merlin says, still having that grin. He picks up a lighter and throws it at Bond, who catches it easily. "Don't open it, that's a hand grenade. It blows up ten seconds after activation, giving you just enough time to get away." Merlin walks a few more steps to another shelf and says to Bond, who follows closely after him like a puppy. "Bulletproof suits, made to measure, excelled in both form and function, made by the greatest tailors Savile Row has to offer." 

Bond touches the fabric reverently, "MI6 needs to buy from you. I wouldn't have been almost killed on top of a moving train wearing this."  

"At the moment, we only have Kingsman uniformed style and colour,s but given a formal request, we can reconsider." Then, Merlin gestures to the shoes nearby, "Oxfords, with retractable titanium blades coated in poison at the front, activated by clicking your heels together. Pick a pair. And here are Bremont watches, they can shoot darts to either knock someone unconscious or erase their memories of recent events. Can be programmed to hack pass certain security systems, too." 

"Did you make them?" Bond asks, and when he sees Merlin nods, he praises, "I always knew you were great, just not how great. MI6 should have snapped you up." 

Harry coughs loudly, "Excuse me?" 

Merlin, knowingly, cut in, "I'm flattered, but my heart belongs to Kingsman." 

Bond winks at him, "If you change your mind, we're the first in line." Merlin laughs out loud at the cheesy song lyrics and Harry secretly fumes. 

Merlin doesn't see that, because he already turned and is walking excitedly to the farthest wall of the room "I haven't even shown you the most interesting things yet, James, come over here!" and again, Bond follows him. Merlin stops in front of a wall and has an almost evil grin on his face. "Here come the weapons!" he says as he scans his whole hand on the glass. The two panels slide open to show a wide range of weapons from handguns, rifles to swords of all sorts and... umbrellas. 

"What are those?" Bond points at them. 

"Rainmakers-" 

"Those are off limit," Harry interrupts Merlin. Merlin turned his head to look at Harry, wanting to object, but when he sees Harry grimacing, he decides to let Harry have his way. 

"What do they do?" Bond doesn't let it go. He'd be a shit agent if he doesn't investigate things through. 

"The fabric is bulletproof and acts as a shield, the inside surface is also a screen, showing you the enemy on the other side and their statistics. The tube is a double barrel gun that can fire shotgun shells or stun bullets. The handle is where you can switch between the two options. There are others functions as well-" 

"Are you kidding me?" Bond asks, incredulous. 

"Not at all, when you are on the field with Harry, you will see the Rainmaker in action. It's his signature weapon." 

Bond turns to look at Harry for a few seconds, then shakes his head, "You lucky bastard." 

Harry glares, but Bond has already turned his attention back to an oblivious Merlin, who tells him to pick a few things he likes. Bond ends up with a new pair of shoes, a new watch and a semi-automatic rifle plus the "lighter" that Merlin threw him before. 

"No handgun? No suits?" Merlin asks. Looking at the stuff Bond lays out on the table. 

"Not wearing your uniform, Eachann. Both M and Q would have my hide. As for handguns, I prefer my Walther PPK," Bond smiles, patting at his side where the gun is being kept, "it's coded to my palm print. My very own personal statement." He turns his head just enough for Harry to see him winking, "Harry's not the only one with a signature weapon." 

"Interesting," Merlin muses, "Only you can use the gun?" 

"Yes. It's the first thing Q gave me when he started being my Quartermaster. I lost the original in the belly of a Komodo dragon, though. The current one is a replacement," he smiles fondly, "He was very upset." Bond takes off his own watch, grinning, "I should return this to him in one piece. He detests me enough as is." 

Merlin takes the watch and put it on a small tray, handing it to Bond, along with a bigger tray for the new toys. "I expect my stuff back after the mission too, James. Don't you dare ruining them." 

"Yes sir, I'll try my best!" He salutes mockingly. 

Merlin simply nods, unimpressed, and checks his watch. "I think we can slowly make our way back to my office. The computer should start returning results soon."

 

* * *

 

 

They arrive at Merlin's office with time to spare so they settle down and Merlin makes each of them tea. The program Merlin wrote for Kingsman promptly notifies them that the whole folder has been uploaded to the database and cross-referenced to all available sources, including the most hidden parts of the Dark Web. It also gives them the locations that have the highest probability of being a target for the attack based on the gathered information. 

"So, the highest probable location that the terrorists will want to attack is around Piccadilly Circus, where it is extremely crowded during rush hours and close enough to both Number 10, Downing Street and the main tourist attractions to get attention." 

"The gall of those terrorists, thinking they'd pull it off in one of the most secure parts of London," Bond snorts. 

"What those bastards don't know is that they are within walking distance from our Kingsman Tailor Shop," Harry chuckles, "This one is in the bag." Bond nods arrogantly while Merlin rolls his eyes over the two overly confident agents. Harry continues, "We need to find out where they group up before the attack and stop them. Merlin, any information on that?" 

"My software has pulled CCTV footage as well as images from satellites monitoring the area. Two places are ranked above the rest. You will have to check each. One is a garage and the other is a warehouse for the shops nearby. At least one of the terrorists might have been planted as employees to get access to those places. We will find out where exactly tomorrow, there is intel about a trial run." 

"Pull up employee files of all the stores nearby and do background check, please," Harry requests. 

"Way ahead of you." 

After that, they discuss possible infiltration methods and which route they will need to take to each location. Merlin will be monitoring both of them and they will change route accordingly. After going through the plan of action twice, they decide that it's enough. Merlin suggests that Harry should go back to his unfinished works and then go home early today so that he can actually show up tomorrow. Harry is sure he saw Bond's eyebrows shot up in amusement when he heard Merlin alluding to Harry's tardiness. Before he can even think of throwing a snarky remark, Merlin already tells Bond to follow him to his temporary quarter and leaves Harry there, clearly dismissed.

 

* * *

 

A few hours later, Harry knocks on the door of Merlin's office again. 

"Come in," Merlin answers as he continues to stare at multiple monitors in front of him. 

"I'm heading out. Are you going home any time soon?" Harry asks. 

"I'm staying here tonight. Have to look through the database again to see if the computer missed anything. Then I will have to brief Eggsy's team at 1 AM and Roxy's team at 5 AM." 

Harry sits down sullenly on the side of Merlin's desk, his arms crossed in front of him. Merlin decides to ignore him for a while, knowing full well that Harry can't take not having his voice heard for long. Harry looks increasingly pissed off as the minutes tick by. Finally, Merlin sighs, looks up and asks, "What is it, Harry?" 

"You don't need to be here to brief the teams." 

"I should. No matter how strong my private firewalls are, they are not miles ahead of military-grade like what we have here. With the sensitive info that both teams are gathering, I'd prefer if no one can sniff out any data." 

"You just want to stay here because Bond is here," Harry blurts out. 

Merlin is utterly confused by Harry's statement that it momentarily robs him of any words. He just sits there, squinting his eyes at Harry. "What the fuck are you on about?" 

"Don't pretend you didn't notice him following you around like a puppy and looking like you hung the moon," Harry huffs. 

Merlin goes from starring at Harry to dropping his head onto his hand, facepalming. He takes off his glasses, rubs his eyes and then puts it back on. "I am too busy for this." 

"But-" 

"Harry, we are _married_. I'm your fucking _husband_!" 

"But," Harry bites out as if the words he wants to speak offend him personally, "he is extremely handsome and fit, and you two lived together, and-" 

Merlin looks at Harry as if he's daft, "First of all, I'm not sure if James likes men. When we lived together, he disturbed my sleep almost every single night with a new girl he brought back, to the point that I threatened to poison his food. Second, if he did, you would more likely be a target than I am, we were like brothers, it would be so," he scrunches up his face, "gross." 

Merlin moves up from his seat to sits next to where Harry is and put an arm around Harry's waist, pulling Harry closer to him. When he speaks again, he makes sure to keep his voice soft, "Last, but not least, I am not leaving you for any beefcake out there making eyes at me. I love you." 

"You were so nice to him, I hardly ever saw you being like that with anyone," Harry, still pouting, "and he was hanging onto your every word too." 

Merlin chuckles, "I wanted to show off a little, alright? Not just because of the quasi-sibling rivalry, I also wanted to show an MI6 agent how great Kingsman is. As for James, he probably was having you on, seeing how prickly you were. From where I was standing, it looked more like he was flirting with you, anyway." 

Harry, now deflated, starts blushing and looking down at his shoes. "I'm sorry." 

Merlin lifts his hand that has been at Harry's waist up to wrap around his shoulders and pulled him in for a kiss on the temple. "I'm sorry for ignoring you, too. I was too busy the last few days and then got a little over-excited seeing James." 

"It's not your fault," Harry denies, "It's my damn insecurities. I saw a young, attractive and agent and I suddenly became irrational. I kept thinking that you had no reason to keep me over him." 

Merlin tries really hard to contain his laughter but Harry can feel him shaking, he asks, irritated, "What?" 

Merlin actually lets himself guffaw, "By that logic, Harry, I would have dumped you for every single agent joining Kingsman after you, Eggsy included," he says with tears in his eyes. 

Harry's expression is a mix of horrified and offended, "Please never say that again," he whines. 

Merlin, still smiling, just hugs Harry closer with the arm on his shoulder and tilts Harry's head up with his free hand. "You vain drama queen! Have you looked into the mirror lately? You are still one gorgeous man. Sometimes I have to stop whatever I am doing just to look at you," he pauses, touching the blackened side of Harry's glasses, knowing exactly what tends to bother Harry, "including the eye, it reminds me of how I almost lost you and had you back. And," he kisses Harry's forehead, "even if you become the worst-looking man on earth tomorrow, I'd still love you like I always have." 

"I love you so much," Harry says with a contented sigh. 

"I know, although it's nice to be reminded sometimes," Merlin grins, "I love you too." He places a quick kiss on Harry's lips, "But you have to go home and rest, love, I need you at your best tomorrow to show James what we are all about. And be here on time." 

"Yes, Quartermaster," Harry rolls his eye, "Your wish is my command." He hops off the table, kisses Merlin and saunters off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry you overly dramatic attention seeker. Good thing Merlin spoils you so much. (The reason why Harry is uneasy around M is because of what happened between Colin Firth and Ralph Fiennes characters in The English Patient :P )
> 
> Eachann means "horse", because Mark Strong nickname in Chinese is "Strong horse" lol.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some agents-to-agents bonding (heh) time, some action, some 00Q (because they don't leave me alone), some Merlahad trying to save James from himself and finally, some Merlahad porn.

The next morning sees Harry and James standing in front of Merlin, ready for action. After talking to Merlin last night, Harry makes a point of letting go of his prejudice for James, starting with referring to him as "James" in his head. Merlin goes through a last-minute briefing with them to make sure everything goes smoothly. He hands James a classy leather bag, "Here's your rifle. You will have to reassemble it when needed, but seeing there's no other way to walk around Piccadilly Circus while openly carrying a weapon, you'll have to make do. Won't take long, as I showed you." James grins, excited to get this toys. "Did you familiarise yourself with all the other gears as I instructed you to?" James nods and Merlin continues, "Very good, I expect them back in good conditions, if any of them, other than the lighter, is lost or broken, I'm sending MI6 a bill. Clear?"

"I'll try," James tries to look overly innocent, Merlin just raises an eyebrow skeptically.

Merlin turns over to Harry and hands him a Rainmaker. "The target-lock-on speed and sensitivity have been improved, you can fire more accurately and much faster, even without looking in certain cases."

"Thank you," Harry means what he says. He knows that Merlin spoils him rotten by always giving him what he wants and is grateful for it. He notices, as he accepts the weapon, that Merlin has put the wedding ring back on. Merlin tends to take his ring off when he's working with hardware, especially when soldering or installing electrical components. He said he wouldn't want to have a few fingers cut off if he accidentally touches the ring somewhere he shouldn't, which is fair for Harry. Harry doesn't have a lot of chances to wear his either, especially when out on the field, so he doesn't feel like pestering Merlin with such a trivial thing. It's all just symbolism for them anyway, they were together for almost twenty years before getting the rings and no one could say they loved each other any less. He feels like Merlin took the effort to put it on today after what happened last night and he is suddenly hit with a wave of affection for his husband. Now is not the time to cosy up, however. The mission comes first.

Merlin informs them that they will be heading out to the warehouse first and they should probably find a way to avoid anyone seeing them, preferably finding somewhere higher up to hide. The most important task is to find out how many people they have in total, what exactly will be the hazard, if it's a bomb or something else, and how do they plan to execute it. They will decide on the flight whether they should busting the operation and taking down its members immediately. Should Merlin see any sign of the suspects moving to the other location instead, he will inform the two agents to switch course immediately.

* * *

 

An hour and a half later - after the train ride back to the shop, infiltrating the location and planting bugs as well as micro-cameras - they are perched on the rooftop of the warehouse, waiting for the criminals to arrive at the scene. This organisation comes off as a bunch of complete amateurs based on the fact that they don't even have anyone guarding their meeting place in advance. Half an hour until rendezvous time and both agents are bored out of their minds.

"So, Merlin is your quartermaster, and your husband," James casually states while assembling his rifle, constructing the sentence as a statement instead of a question although Harry can feel that James wants a confirmation.

"Affirmative to both, how do you know?"

"I know him. Even when we were kids, he always called me out when I was a petulant little shit, yet he lets you get away with a lot. It surely isn't because you are his boss because both of us aren't the yes-men type. He dotes on you, worries about you. He gave me extensive instruction of where to stand, what to do on the field with you. Then, this morning, he wore his wedding ring, which he didn't yesterday. Doubtless, you must have paid him a visit."

 _Damn, read like a book_ , Harry isn't even bothered, just impressed. "Excellent deducting skill. The rumours about MI6's 007 aren't wrong."

"And you thought I was trying to steal away with him to MI6?"

Harry hesitates, it's a bit embarrassing to acknowledge the fact that he was a little jealous. Weighing the options in his head, it feels like the truth is the best choice, as he doesn't think the infamous James Bond, who figured everything else out on his own, is dumb enough to be fooled. He nods.

James snorts, "Don't worry, I have my own."

Harry raises an eyebrow, "A quartermaster, or a husband?"

"Quartermaster. Although," James smiles like he's reminded of some inside joke, "if I bring back all my equipment in peak condition for the next fifty years and avoid pissing him off any further in the meantime, I might be able to mollify him enough for him to marry me."

Harry pretends to be sympathetic, "That bad?"

James thinks for a second then changes the subject, "Did I tell you what a lucky bastard you are? If I were around, I would have given you hell. Merlin is too good for most people."

Harry chuckles, "Glad I didn't have to deal with any disapproving brother, then. And yes, I know full well how lucky I am."

"How did you two go from a professional relationship to, a," James tilts his head, eyes squinted, "personal one?"

Harry looks at his watch, "Hmn, there's still time. Fine, I'll tell you. It started a long time ago," he recalls the old days, "I was headhunted right out of the army, where I did excellently so, of course, I was full of myself. My arrogance became even worse after I was named Galahad. You know, with Galahad being the greatest knight in the Arthurian legends and all."

James nods, pretending to be patient so Harry can get to the _good_ part, where Merlin is concerned. Harry sees right through that and looks amused, "Imagine my dismay when I learned that my handler was a twerp three years younger than I was that also just joined the organisation. It felt like the two expendable fledgelings were lumped together so if they fuck up and die, nothing of value would be lost. I took my frustration out on him because I was a jackass. I repeatedly disobeyed his instruction, going for the most flashy ways of doing things, hoping to impress older knights, not caring about the consequences. I was thinking that I wouldn't let his inexperience get in the way of me proving myself."

Harry grimaces, displeased with his younger self's bravado. "There was a supposedly simple mission. The get in, eavesdrop, steal the thing, get out type. I fucked up badly. I decided that I was good enough to take the whole group alone without prior info. Told Merlin to shut it or I'd destroy the com and went in blind. I got shot and captured like a fucking moron. Merlin put together and commanded a squad of knights to rescue me in record time, not that I knew it then. My pathetic arse was unconscious."

James is surprised by how frank Harry is being. It's rare enough that an agent admits to themselves that they were wrong, let alone being to talk about it with others so freely. It shows a deep level of maturity and security that not many have. Even he is not sure that he can be that candid. Harry still looks exasperated, running his hand through his hair.

"Woke up to see him sleeping in the chair next to my bed in medical. The nurses told me he was checking on me any time he could spare a minute, saying he didn't want me to be the first one lost on his watch. And then I had the gall to blame him for not arming me well enough."

Harry takes a breather, thinking about how to go over the past events at Kingsman without disclosing anything classified. Then, he continues, "Our technology then was nothing like what we have now. Our suits weren't really bulletproof, only more durable than the regular ones we sold to customers. There was no Rainmaker. My weapon was just a shotgun disguised as an umbrella. You literally had to pull the fabric off to reveal a gun. Kingsman was practically stuck in the Middle Ages before he came. He tried his darnedest to pull us forward while still spending most of his time handling agents. And there I was, being a thorn in his side. He took my insults to heart and locked himself away in his office. I started hearing other agents complaining about Merlin not handling their missions. It turned out that he was not only handling me. Many agents, including the senior ones, were working with him and put him down as their preference because he was excellent. That was the moment I realised that _I_ was the one holding him back."

James, thoroughly engrossed in the story, pushes for more as Harry pauses and checks the video feed for anything abnormal, "So, what happened next?"

Harry intentionally draws the pause out longer just to annoy James a little before he picks the story up where it was left off. "When he finally called me to his office to show off the first ever Rainmaker, I went down on my knees like a good agent and showed him just how much I appreciated him."

James stares at Harry with his mouth open for almost a full minute and Harry basks himself in the pleasure of knowing that he has just gotten _Double-Oh fucking Seven_ to lose his ability to speak. James looks like an owl, waiting for the punchline but slowly realises that Harry is done with the story and he's not bullshitting.

Finally, he blinks. He breathes in, out, blinks again and then exclaims, "Oh my God!"

When Harry just cocks his head, shrugging without saying anything, James continues, "You are a fucking visionary," he waves a hand in front of his eye, "No pun intended."

"Thank you," Harry smirks.

"I bet you have been his favourite agent ever since."

"He married me, so I hope that's true," Harry jokes. After a few minutes of silence, he decides to speak up again, "It's not just that, you know. We have been through so much together. We saved the world countless times. We watched each other die," Harry closes his eye and grimaces at this. Gritting his teeth and opening his eye again with a determined look, he claims, vehemently, "After all that, nothing can separate us anymore."

James hums, understanding what Harry says and can somewhat feel how deep their feelings for each other go. On the one hand, he admires both Harry and Merlin for making it work despite having the kind of jobs that usually destroy any chance of having a stable relationship. On the other hand, he would be lying if he says he's not jealous. His Kingsman counterpart and his oldest friend found a soulmate in each other in the most unlikely manner and here he is, still just living his life one mission at a time, sometimes wondering if there's anything out there worth fighting, surviving for.

He can't stay maudlin for long because they hear sounds from the entrance of the warehouse. Both agents are instantly alert and ready for action. They look through the screen showing surveillance feeds to see how many are coming.

"Merlin reminds us to stay still. We need intel," Harry whispers.

James nods and stares at the screens. They note down the number of people and anything they find essential. The audio and video will be stored on Kingsman server, of course, but human intuition is still the most trustworthy. They watch patiently as more people trickle in. They all wear standard cheap hoodies to cover their head and ugly baggy pants.

"Criminals these days, no style at all," James complains, Harry nods.

The leader comes forward and yells angrily about how Western society has become weak and insignificant and how the governments are spineless against foreign forces.

"Another day, another dumb-ass and with their extremist view trying to get attention.  I think I've heard this speech at least a dozen times in some variations," Harry sighs, "I don't get how blowing up a bunch of people on the street will make this country great, but here we are."

Both men continue watching calmly until one of the terrorists brings out a girl whose wrists are tied up behind her. "Shit, Merlin, are you seeing this?" Harry whispers into the com.

"Do we engage?" James asks.

Harry holds his hand up to signal James to wait and see what happens next. When it's clear that they don't plan to release her, threatening to hit her with an iron pipe instead, Harry says "Fuck it, let's go," and jumps down. James follows suit.

They land dramatically in the middle of the circle, startling the people around. James points his rifle at them and bark out orders for them to hold their hands above their heads and back off. Unluckily for them, a few terrorists have knives and machetes. Emboldened by their number and their weapons, some start charging at them, causing the rest to follow. "Great call, Arthur," James says sarcastically without turning to look at Harry.

"Give me a few minutes to release her and I will help you."

James starts fighting off the attacking force, choosing not to shoot them just yet. He kicks the knife off a man's hand while slamming the butt of the rifle at another man's face. The next few guys meet the same fate, getting knocked out quickly.

Just as he starts to feel confident that they can get the situation under control without much hassle, one of the terrorists pulls out his gun. A couple others see that and also draw theirs.

"Arthur, anytime this century would be nice!" He really doesn't want to kill them. Causing a mess in the middle of London isn't a smart move and MI6 doesn't want to have to cover it up, especially when the bastards at MI5 are going to complain about overstepping jurisdiction. M and Q repeatedly tried to drill this into his head; they'd be happy to know that he remembers this detail.

"Almost done!" Harry finally managed to pick the handcuff's lock. Now he only needs to cut the ropes tying the girl down to the chair. What he doesn't see is someone from his blind side pointing a gun at him. A loud bang goes off.

For a few seconds, Harry thinks he's fucked. Then the next thought that comes to his mind is that Merlin is going to be very pissed off, judging from his voice that is louder than the ringing in Harry's ears right now. And then he realises that he isn't dead, just pushed violently to the ground with the girl and her chair falling on top of him. Then he hears another body falling heavily next to him, letting out a pained grunt. It's James.

"007, are you alright?" Harry speaks loudly, both for James and to assure Merlin on the com that he's alive.

It takes James a moment to groan and reply. "Fuck, I got shot. Right shoulder. Not going to die but I won't be able to cover you very well."

"I'm almost done, just shoot them."

"Not opening fire at a crowd, Arthur."

"There's a magazine of rubber bullets in your bag, 007! Standard extension for all agents!"

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me before?"

"I thought Merlin told you!"

James curses up a blue streak while pulling out the rubber bullets magazine from his bag and change. He shoots at the terrorists' general direction with his left arm while Harry cuts through all the ropes holding the hostage down to the chair. When he's done, he pulls both her and James up. "Stay behind me!" Harry orders.

Harry opens up Rainmaker and uses it as a shield for James and the girl. He switches the firing mode to stun and shoots at as many in front of him as he can while James covers his sides. "Merlin, we need a cleanup team and evac," he speaks into the com.

When they get to the exit, Harry lets James and the hostage out first while engaging Rainmaker's automatic aiming system and shoot behind him without looking. He slams the door and signals James and the girl to have him push a big crate in front of it to temporarily lock the crazy bastards inside.

The Kingsman getaway car arrives promptly. James lets out a relieved laugh and shouts over his shoulder to the direction of Harry's com, "I fucking love Merlin." After all three of them are seated safely on the car, Harry sighs contentedly, "I fucking love you too, Merlin."

* * *

 

After James comes back from medical and Merlin is done interviewing the relevant parties, the three of them meet again in Harry's office. He sits down behind his desk, his fingers laced together in front of him. He observes each agent slowly. Both of them gulp.

Merlin surprises them both by not calling out their recklessness, instead, he opens with "Mission accomplished, gentlemen. We know the location of the explosives and the list of people behind the plan. For someone speaking so tough, those terrorists coughed up information quickly."

"Well, that's good!" Harry acts cheerful, "Isn't it, James?"

James nods and smiles nervously. Merlin is secretly amused, but he knows he can't show it just yet. He leans back in his chair and smirks, "Arthur, do inform me the cause of your unease."

 _Arthur, this isn't good_. Harry sighs, "I disobeyed instruction. We were only supposed to be observing. I jumped in, dragging James with me, causing him to get shot."

"And putting yourself in unnecessary danger," Merlin adds.

"And putting myself in unnecessary danger."

Merlin sighs dramatically. "Are you aware Galahad, Lancelot and Percival would never ignore mission direction like this?"

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Good, make sure it won't happen again, or I'm suspending you from field duty."

When it's clear that the matter is settled, James asks, incredulous, "That's it? That's all you say?"

Merlin shrugs, "What else do you expect me to say?"

"I expected a chewing out!"

"James, Harry is an experienced agent and the head of Kingsman. He knows exactly what the consequences of his actions are."

"Oh my God, you spoil him rotten!" James throws his hands up. "I wish people were that nice to me."

Merlin chuckles, "Speaking of nice, Q is on the way here to pick you up. He's on the underground tube right now."

"How does he get here?" James asks.

"Michael, one of our men at the front, is leading him here."

James mutters something under his breath that sounds like _I'm not a child needs picking up_ but Harry rubs his hands together cheerfully and says, "I can't wait to meet the infamous Q face to face!"

* * *

 

A series of knocks on the door informs them of Q's arrival. Merlin calls for him to come in. Michael opens the door, bows to Q and then retreats back to the underground train, waiting.

Despite his earlier words, James looks remarkably happy when he spots his own quartermaster. "Q! Here you are!" He goes to the younger man and pulls him deeper into the room. "Let me introduce the guys to you. Here," he gestures toward Harry, "Is Harry, or Arthur on the field. He's the head of Kingsman."

Q extends his hand to shake Harry's, "Arthur, a pleasure to meet you face to face."

"Harry, please. As long as we are not on a mission, I don't mind." Harry smiles at Q. Dark hair, slight frame, thick glasses. He looks just like Merlin back in the day, with longer hair. _God, he even wears clothes somewhat similar to Merlin's_. Harry wonders if he also likes tea. Do they make quartermasters at the same factory?

James doesn't let Q linger long on Harry, however, excited to introduce him to Merlin. "This is Eachann, but call him Merlin, he prefers it. Merlin is Kingsman's quartermaster, like you."

Q sighs, slightly embarrassed, "I know, Bond. I've talked to him."

Before he can come shake Merlin's hand, James continues. "Merlin and I have been the closest of friends since we were kids. He's amazing! If I knew he was with Kingsman, I probably would have followed him."

A flash of something like annoyance or, dare Harry assume, jealousy, appears on Q's face before he schools his expression back to neutral. Harry realises, for someone so famous for his seduction skill, James can be as dense as a rock. He just went and put his foot in his mouth.

Before James can make the situation any worse by showing off Kingsman's tech to Q, Merlin cuts in. "James, stop joking. We know how loyal you are to MI6." He reaches over to shake Q's hand, appearing as friendly as he can. "Q, I'm glad to finally meet you in person. James said a lot of great things about you."

"Did he now?" Q glances over to an oblivious and still smiling James.

"Of course, Q. You are a genius!" Just as Harry and Merlin relax a little, James continues, "But Merlin spoils Harry so much. He made Harry an amazing gun and shield combo called Rainmaker, Harry even has an exploding lighter! You never gave me an exploding pen."

Harry and Merlin both sigh inwardly and glance at each other. They communicate silently that they should just watch how this unfolds.

"007, do you even know how many weapons I have made or modified for you and then you destroyed them right after? Do you even remember all the tech you've wrecked? You left a three million pounds Aston Martin prototype at the bottom of a canal, for God's sake!"

"Oh my God, three million pounds." Harry and Merlin whisper to each other. "He almost got us fooled."

"And you never listened to me! Look at you, getting injured again." Q pokes at James' shoulder, making him hiss. "You were supposed to get fit for field work, not more injured."

Harry raises his hand, wanting to intervene, but James already beats him to the punch. "They were going to shoot Harry in the head!" He says hotly, "I wouldn't let any of them kill Merlin's husband."

Q is momentarily shocked, then he deflates. Merlin reaches out and put his left hand on Q's shoulder, meaning for Q to see his ring. "I can confirm, this wasn't James' fault. He saved Harry's life. If anything, we owe him a great deal."

Q looks up, first at Merlin, then at James, who's looking both like a petulant child and a scolded puppy, which is quite a feat, considering who he is. Q's eyes soften, all the anger dissipated. "In that case, I'm sorry for blaming you, Bond." James nods. "Sorry for doing this in front of you guys," Q smiles awkwardly, finally realises what a scene he was causing before.

Harry tells him it's no matter. Merlin smiles and says he can sympathise with Q perfectly, having to run a kindergarten for spies as well. Harry and James protest but he shoots both of them down.

Wanting to steer the topic back on track, Merlin indicates for them all to take a seat. Merlin sits next to Harry on the couch while James and Q each occupies an armchair.

"Q, despite some minor hiccups that stemmed from our side, I would say this mission was a success," Merlin says, then turns to Harry. "Do you think so too?"

Harry catches on to what Merlin is doing immediately, "I agree. And James played a big part in that outcome," Harry nods at James. "Thank you for pushing me out of danger."

James shrugs, "It was the right thing to do."

"And thanks to you and this mission, I think Kingsman is ready to form a stronger working relationship with MI6. We are willing to run more co-op missions with you as well as exchanging a certain amount of intelligence," Merlin announces and Harry nods.

Q is taken aback. When he and M started contacting Kingsman, they didn't expect much. Being able to confirm that they are not a secretly evil organisation planning to take over the world was already considered a success for them.

"Another thing," Merlin smiles, "If MI6 wants to order bulletproof suits like what our agents wear for the Double-Oh program, we are willing to do business."

"Are you serious?" Both James and Q ask at the same time.

"There will be certain conditions, of course. You are not supposed to abuse our suits to harm weak, innocent people, for example. We will be keeping tab."

"Fair enough, I will relay the message to M." Q nods, still in disbelief.

"Tell him that the cost for James' suits will be on the house, he did save our Arthur, after all."

"Merlin, you are the best person in the world!" James declares dramatically.

"I remember distinctly how you called me the worst person in the world back in the day," Merlin grins.

"You told me you laced my food with laxatives! I didn't dare to go anywhere for two days straight!"

James' scandalised expression and tone make Q start giggling. Harry tries to act calm for a few seconds but ends up chuckling anyway. He can imagine a young, pissed off Merlin pulling that move.

James shakes his head. "I'm glad you people find it amusing."

"That's it, the next time you ruin my tech, I'm going to put actual laxatives in your food," Q declares.

"Merlin! Do you see," James turns to Merlin and gestures at Q, "This is workplace bullying!"

Merlin just smirks at James and goes to Harry's desk, retrieving James' suitcase and his tray of tech. Instead of letting James have them back, he hands them to Q instead. "Here, I guess these are yours."

"All in perfect condition," James cuts in, smiling. "The gun too," He pats the Walther PPK at his side.

Q rolls his eyes but not saying anything to James, choosing to thank Merlin instead. "Much appreciated, Merlin. As much as I love hearing the stories, we have to get back to MI6 as soon as possible. We should do this again sometimes."

Both Merlin and Harry nod and stand up to see James and Q off. "Michael will bring you back to the shop."

They exchange pleasantries, James hugs Merlin and makes him promise they'll meet again and then goes outside with Harry.

Q is about to walk out as well but Merlin places a hand on his elbow to keep him back. Q looks up quizzically.

"Q, I apologise if we, I mean, if _I_ troubled you with my handling of James. I love him like a brother and after not seeing him for so long, I might have tried to impress him with too many toys. I didn't mean to undermine your authority."

Q looks taken aback for a second, then smiles sincerely. "Thank you, I'm not awfully bothered but I appreciate the sentiment."

"James may come off as a dick sometimes, but he's a good man. He's been like that since we were kids. Please don't take his aloofness to heart."

Q nods, bids Merlin goodbye and follows the other two out the door.

* * *

 

When Harry comes back to his office, Merlin is still there, sitting on the couch. He smiles and sits down next to Merlin.

"Interesting two days, don't you say?"

Merlin nods, chuckling to himself.

"Share your amusing thought with the class, maybe?"

"Those two. If James doesn't bollock it up, I don't think it'd take another fifty years."

 "I'd give them ten."

"Ten? That's generous of you. I'd say five."

"Let's bet on it then."

"I'm game," Merlin grins, "Just hope James won't get fired for sexual harassment after some hare-brained schemes to follow your footsteps."

Harry laughs out loud. He doesn't think James would do something that stupid but that's an amusing mental image.

"Worked for us, didn't it?"

"Not everyone is us. It was also awfully convenient for you that I had a massive crush on my most annoying agent."

Harry fake awws and Merlin rolls his eyes.

"Maybe it's just my brilliant plan to recruit him for Kingsman," Harry suggests.

"Oh please, I've had enough headaches and heart-attacks with you and Eggsy. I'm overworked and under-appreciated as is, thank you very much."

Harry shifts closer to Merlin and nuzzles his jaw. "Quartermaster, I appreciate the hell out of you."

Merlin tills his head, giving Harry more access, "Oh, really?"

Harry hums, opting to use his mouth on more exciting activities, such as kissing and nipping Merlin's neck. His hands wander to more interesting places than his own laps as well, such as Merlin's lower back and his abdomen. Both hands manage to sneak under the layers of Merlin's clothes so Harry can feel his husband's skin directly. He makes a happy sound when he hears Merlin sighs contentedly.

After being satisfied with the state of Merlin's neck, Harry moves back up to pull him in for a proper kiss. It's been days since he was able to get more than a quick peck from the other man and he has to make up for lost time. Merlin returns the kiss with fervour, missing Harry just as much. After a while, Harry pulls back and Merlin growls slightly, trying to chase after him.

"Shh..." Harry smiles fondly, "Let me show you my appreciation, alright?"

Merlin nods, knowing where exactly this will go. They have been here before, more than once. Harry rubs his cheek against Merlin and gives him another quick kiss before getting off the couch to kneel in front of him. He starts rubbing up and down Merlin's thighs - what's left of them - slowly, eye focusing on his husband's endearing face. Merlin arches a challenging eyebrow and Harry grins in reply. He starts nuzzling the still covered thighs with his nose, getting closer and closer to where they both know the real destination will be. Merlin moves both his hand onto Harry's head, playing with his ears and oh-so-precious hair and Harry hums in satisfaction.

When Merlin wants to speed things up by removing his hands from Harry's head to open his trousers button, Harry grunts, takes hold of both wandering hands and put them back on his head, where he likes them. Finally having mercy on Merlin, Harry reaches up and undo the button himself, but then he pulls the zipper down really, really slowly.

"Oh for God's sake, Harry-" Merlin cuts himself off with a groan when Harry pulls the rest of the fly down quickly and starts rubbing the boxer-covered budge inside the way he knows Merlin likes it.

"What were you saying?"

"Shut up and continue doing that."

"Yes, Quartermaster. Always telling me what to do." Harry pulls down both the trousers and the boxer, Merlin lifts his hip up to help him. Keeping eye-contact, Harry wets his lips and grins when he sees Merlin visibly gulping. He loves how after so many years together, their desire for each other still burns as bright as it used to back then. Not wasting any more time teasing, Harry sets himself to work. His experience and enthusiasm quickly drives Merlin to the edge, the other writhing under him and gripping his hair. When he feels the tugging becoming more insistent, he knows that Merlin is close. He hums and nods slightly, as much as having a cock down one's throat would allow. Soon enough, Merlin is coming and Harry greedily swallows it all down. He daintily wipes his mouth with his pocket-handkerchief, put it back and look up cheekily at Merlin.

Merlin pulls his husband right back up and plunders his mouth, not caring about the taste of himself. He's used to it, after all. His hands sneak over to Harry's refined behind and pull him on top of him without breaking the kiss. Then, one hand moves back up to Harry's hair to mess it up some more while the other moves to the tented front of his trousers to open it. Harry pulls back.

"Not right now, darling."

"Hmn?"

Harry leans closer to Merlin's ear and whisper, "This was me showing my appreciation for my _handler_ ," Merlin can feel Harry smiling at his own pun. "Come home with me now and I will show you how much I appreciate my _husband_." He nips at Merlin's earlobe for good measure.

"That sounds like an offer I can't refuse. Let me check-"

"Everyone is done with their missions and they won't be back until tomorrow, love. Everything else can wait. You _are_ overworked. Let's go, I'll make it worth your while. I'll even cook your favourite for dinner." Harry whispers and kisses the top of Merlin's nose.

"Very well, the world can wait a day," Merlin smiles. Harry kisses him again before standing up.

* * *

 

**Epilogue:**

Merlin has no idea why all his agents start bringing him presents from their missions. Galahad brings him all kinds of new tech prototypes the "kids these days" will be using. Lancelot is making his tea collection growing out of control. Tequila brings him all kinds of exotic alcohol from all over the world. Even Percival gifts Merlin vinyl copies of his favourite music. Although, Harry is still his favourite agent.

Two years later, James finally asks Q to marry him. To his and nobody else's surprise, Q says yes. James is surprised to find Merlin looking smug as fuck at the wedding. Sometimes, having spies as friends is odd like that, but he loves them anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry. It was Harry who told everyone to bring Merlin gifts.  
> James totally pocketed the exploding lighter, but don't tell anyone that. It's a secret between us and him!  
> Also this was my first time writing porn, if there's something wrong please don't be too harsh :P


End file.
